Way Back and Me now…

This is to those who have given up by virtue of hurts suffered. These are not words of sympathy, but of empathy – yes I’ve been there too. I hope you find the strength to move on and try again.

I didn’t think I would suffer hurt when it began

I didn’t consider hurt an option when I embraced it

I didn’t leave room for hurt when I got all caught up

I really didn’t think I’d be hurt

 

But then, I am hurt, or should I say I was hurt?

Maybe I am, or rather, I was

It hit me so hard recovery doesn’t seem like hope

The hurt was so bad I do not will to try again

 

Now I’m living, always watching out for myself

Lest I get hurt again

Lest I find myself in the spot I so dread

It scares me so much I can’t think of it

 

The world now looks at me hoping I’d try again

But I look back at the world hoping it’d never happen again

Eyes stare at my beautiful heart

But my eyes guard my once broken heart

 

It did hurt, and I was wounded

Now I know what words would not reveal to a naive soul

It did pain, and I was broken

Now I feel what emotions would not explain to an innocent soul

 

It’s been a while now but I’m still around

I went thru a hard time but I’m not bound

I was down and out but now I abound

Now I walk with my feet firm on the ground

 

Miracles happen around me

I’m alive, it’s a miracle

But I need another miracle to make me say “Yes” to life again

A miracle that won’t hurt, again!

 

If I have hope at all, it is for a new life

A life that bears fidelity with my dreams and wishes

A phase of  my existence that will make me believe in what I doubt

A time when I’ll answer affirmative to whether true love exists

 

While seasons fade in and out of time and while time itself elapses

I watch with care from a distance

Hardly moved to open up to a chance with love

Saving my heart from the hurt I once suffered

 

There’s healing in leaving the past where it belongs

And facing up to the future, though uncertain

In the midst of choices, chances, guesses and errors

There is hope for an expected end

 

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